The Great Misunderstanding of What A Woman’s Beauty Is

A refreshing view on big boobs, lushious lips, smell, sounds and the way she looks

Photo of me, captured by Ida Kristiansen Balle

I once removed the entirety of my hair downstairs - like: all of it - after watching some bare friends in the shower at the gym. 

It had never occurred to me before that removing all my pubic hair was a good idea. But watching the slick bodies of my friends, I wondered if removing my hair would make me more beautiful. So I decided to give my Brazilian style a go. 

Back home, I regretted my experiment the moment I put my shaver down. My skin felt uncomfortable without hair on it. Bending down for a check, I found the look of my hairless lower lips… gross. I looked like a baby. As I positioned myself in front of the mirror to evaluate, all I could think of was a ribbed chicken. The thought: elegant, beautiful woman, didn’t strike me at all.

There was for sure nothing womanish or luscious about my hairless pubic area. I stood there in front of the mirror and felt robbed, naked, ill-treated, perverted. I had abused the most intimate parts of myself.  

Actually, I love my body hair. I love to swipe my hand above the different textures covering up my skin. If I were intimate with another woman, I would love to feel the texture of her hair too. Sitting next to a bare legged woman in summer, I love to gaze at how her legs express themselves in hair. Are they subtly covered, black and hairy, soft or stiff? 

Well now, mostly I cannot see her hair, because she has shaved it off. She is not willing to reveal to me the secret of how her legs express themselves in hair.

I know having hairy legs is unconventional our days. But if you’ve ever seen a woman with legs covered in black and partly curly hair, you have witnessed something very sensual. In order to enjoy that sensuality though… you will have to take your conditioned glasses off. 

All the Strange Concepts of Beauty

There are so many strange ideas of beauty. I don’t know the origin of why we started shaving our body hair. My tantric teacher used to say that hair is our antenna, and that the reason we started removing our body hair, was to dull our system down. To desensitize ourselves, so to speak. It could make sense. By now, the shaving of our body hair has grown into a society norm, easily making just the sight of a woman’s hairy legs or armpits into some kind of statement - rather than the other way around. 

I wonder if we might have gotten brainwashed into a fear of our own body hair. 

Other awkward concepts of beauty have their origin in something true. For example, why do you think filling our lips with botox has become a “thing”?

I’ll tell you: When a woman enjoys herself so deeply that she yearns to kiss and taste the entire world with her mouth, her sensuality fills her lips and makes them grow. In other words: Plump and big and juicy lips are turned on lips.

But if her lips are plump all the time, not by sensuality, but by… botox, that’s not really interesting anymore, is it? Or is that just me?

Here is another screwed up beauty norm that’s built on something true: 

Big Boobs. 

Yes, we all love big boobs. The reason we do; is because full boobs whisper of an open heart. The fullness of the unique set of boobs might take different sizes, depending on the natural shape of the woman’s body. But when a woman opens her heart, her boobs grow. And they don’t only grow; they glow. 

You don’t believe me? Well, I cannot force you to. But I know this to be true, cause it happened to me. And I've seen it happen to others too. It's quite a phenomenon, for somebody who knows how to look.

The thing is, that while our boobs may both grow and glow for a moment in time, they won’t do so continuously, and that’s what makes those moments when they do so precious. For a space in time, our boobs reveal themselves as expressions of divinity itself, the source from where all love and joy and nurture flows.

When we pump our boobs up with silicone to replicate that happening, that is just a sad joke; a cliché. It doesn’t have anything to do with anything. When we fill our boobs up with silicone, we have missed the very point that makes big boobs beautiful. 

Basically, these days we can attack most parts of our body and attempt to make things look the way we want them to. For example, it is said that our nose mirrors our hips, and I've heard people say that obstructions in the bone structure of the nose whispers of withheld sexuality. If that is true, that means we could do some deep and serious work on our sexuality to straighten our nose out. Or we might put in the money instead of the work, and do a nose job to correct our obstruction. If we employ a little intelligence, which option makes the greatest sense?

If you ask me, external adjustments of the way our body expresses itself, doesn’t have much to do with… reality. Those external fix-me-ups are just parts of a silly, sad and screwed up game our society has taught us to buy into and to play. 



The Things I love About a Woman

Finished talking about the madness! Now, I’ll tell you what I love about a Real Woman: 

I love to smell her. Not the perfume or the fragrant body soap she bought last week. I love the smell of HER! I love to feel how her body releases her unique, specific flavour, and how that flavour changes if she is upset or happy or excited. How the smell of her becomes stronger if she speeds things up, and turns a little spicy when she gets aroused.

Our fragrance gives our environment a bit of extra information about who and where we are. If we put another flavour on top of our own, we cover that subtle information up. A genuine woman prefers her world to get to know her. So she allows her world to smell her; as she is.

I love to hear a woman’s sounds. Especially her primal sounds - those sounds some women only give away when they give birth. Do you know the power of inviting those sounds to the surface during sex? Women that allow themselves to express their voice through sex, move and let go of entire worlds of emotions during love-making. As a perk, their primal expressions assist their partners in knowing what they like and what's going on for them inside. 

What about expanding the arena of those sounds a little bit, to share of them between good friends - as a mmm, a hmh, an aaahhh? I love doing that. But maybe that’s just me. Being a bit primal amongst friends makes me feel connected and received. It's nothing sexual about it, although some people may think so. I am just expressing myself outside of my rational mind, directly from the core of my feeling self. It makes me feel good to say: AAAaah! 

I love to see a woman being true to who she is. Not the corrected, assumed perfected version of herself. Not the way she looks when she has spent the entire morning putting her make up on, or done a nose job, or exits the beauty salon with long lashes on. I love to see her as she practices being HER. I love to see her when she feels safe enough to let her beauty radiate from the core of her heart to translate into the physical realms. 

I love to see a woman who takes care of herself and moves in integrity, and that knows how to express the beauty that she is. Not by twisting her body into something that it is not, but by allowing her body to express WHO SHE IS INSIDE. If she dares to allow her world to see that she looks a little different every day, because she moves inside, I say she is a woman who has understood what Beauty really is.